How To Survive Release Week

Photo Credit: Flickr user Official U.S. Air Force 

Tomorrow I am releasing my first novel, The Dream, available exclusively on Amazon Kindle for the first 90 days. I realize that I might go bonkers by the end of the day as I wait for it to release, so here are 20 strategies I have come up with to survive the release week of my new book!

Watch every Disney/Pixar movie I own

In other words, it would be nice if I could spend this week just like any other week, watching Brave, Finding Nemo, Peter Pan, Cinderella, The Lion King, and all the other kids movies I can watch with my 9 month old daughter. I would like to do anything that will keep myself in a carefree ,creative mindset, rather than nervously tapping my fingers as I wait for someone to by my new book and tell me how great it is.

Survive Release Week Alien

Photo Credit: Flickr user JD Hancock

Don’t Check The Stats

I’m going to have to remind myself that it isn’t about the statistics. I wrote The Dream because the story is incredibly important to me. I wrote The Dream because I had something important to say and a story to tell.

Clean My Home From Floor To Ceiling

I don’t believe I have OCD, but few things give me a greater sense of control over my day than cleaning, organizing, and decorating my home. We don’t have a lot of empty space in our one bedroom apartment, so that means I have to be creative with where I put things in my house, not just with the words I write.

Don’t Check The Stats

I’m sure someone will buy the book, right? Then that person will convince their one million closest friends to buy the book as well. I don’t need to worry about the stats, The Dream sells itself!

Work On My Next Book

I believe I told a story that needed to be told with The Dream. I believe that I told the story that I needed to tell with The Dream. That frees me up to write a new book series that is completely different! I have already started on my second novel and so far I like it even better, so watch out!

Don’t Check The Stats

Since this is my first novel, I have no idea what the stats even look like on Amazon. Maybe they are all cute and fuzzy like Care Bears, but I will have to resist the temptation to look anyway!

Read A Book That Is Better Than Mine

Wait, did I just admit that there is another book out there that is better than The Dream? I’m sure you’ve already read The Hunger Games trilogy twice (I know I have) and you’re looking for the next best thing. Actually, I’m reading The Hobbit right now. Tolkien is always trying to steal my spotlight.

You Shall Not Check The Stats

Photo Credit: Flickr user Dunechaser

Don’t Check The Stats

The hardest part of blogging every day for four years was getting over the idea of having to check the stats every day. There were times when I would click refresh on my stats every half hour, hoping that I would become famous during those thirty minutes. This time around I’ll just go ahead and assume that Amazon will run out of bandwidth selling The Dream. Right?

Pretend The Internet Does Not Exist

The best way to get away from the stress and the worry is to literally get away from it all. The only problem is that I don’t know a place that doesn’t have the internet everywhere. I could go back to Hawaii, but having lived there I already know where the Wi-Fi hot spots are located. I’ll just have to climb the highest mountain to get away from civilization.

Don’t Check The Stats

Maybe just a quick look? No! I must not do that to myself, no matter how alluring that forbidden donut looks!

Play Music So Loud I Can’t Hear Myself Speak

I’m not just going to be a seller for the first time this week, I’m still a major consumer as I pre-ordered Wreck-It-Ralph site unseen, there’s a book about Oregon State baseball coming out, and I’m anticipating the new We Shot The Moon album. I think I’ll be blasting the last of those to override any negative thoughts this week.

Don’t Check The Stats

I’m sure that The Dream will be so far off the charts that the stats machine will break. Amazon still uses the abacus, right?

Eat All The Food In The Fridge

The writer’s diet on release week includes, but is not limited to pizza, ice cream, double bacon cheeseburgers, fistful of peanut butter M & M’s, macaroni and cheese (or is it cheese and macaroni?), tacos, french fries, grilled cheese sandwiches, carne asada burritos, and a case of Mountain Dew.

Too bad I’m not on the writer’s diet, I’m on the hacker’s diet, which means about 1700 calories a day for me. Go crazy? Don’t mind if I do!

Eat All The Food In The Fridge


Photo Credit: Flickr user Nestor’s Blurrylife

Don’t Check The Stats

What do numbers even mean, anyway? In high school most of the numbers I dealt with were letters, some of them were even imaginary! I’m sure that these statistics don’t mean anything anyway.

Do All The Jumping Jacks In The Universe

I hope the universe doesn’t have more than 20 jumping jacks.

Don’t Check The Stats

I’m sure the zeroes are all at the end, not at the beginning, right? I’m sure I will sell 1,243,000 books this week, not 00.01234 books. I’m sure Amazon’s statistics will reflect that, no need to brag by actually looking at them.

Learn How To Market A Book At The Last Minute

As a music reviewer, I have read about four billion press releases. How many did I write for The Dream? You guessed it: ZERO! My next book will be better planned, I’m sure of it. I’ll just rely upon my celebrity from the viral nature of The Dream!

Don’t Check The Stats

93 percent of all jokes about statistics being made up anyway aren’t funny. I believe I just proved my point.

Pray, Pray, Pray That Release Week Means Something

To be serious for one second, I wrote The Dream based on a lot of personal experiences, internal and external, so a lot of The Dream means a lot to me. I wrote it because I believe in the pursuit of finding what life is really about, which I believe to be Jesus Christ, God’s only Son. I will be praying not just for a bunch of sales that won’t mean anything to anyone outside of my family, but that The Dream will impact someone’s life. Otherwise, what was the point?

Forget It, I’m Going To Check The Stats!

I’m going to sell ALL THE BOOKS!